Category: Uncategorized

Paloma published her book on Amazon!

Hayes Raffle2 Comments

Before we left last year, Rachel challenged me to be the girls’ teacher. I didn’t know how to teach middle schoolers, so I gave them a grad school assignment: pick a topic you care about and write a book. Both girls did it! Anika’s book tells bedtime stories and poems about animals, and Paloma’s tells the stories of many of the children she met around the world.

Paloma gets today’s prize for “really leaning in.” Last year, she learned page layout, typesetting, and how to edit your piece 15 times until it is good. I’m so proud that she just self-published Sharing The Luck on Amazon, and is brave enough to share it with the world.

I love you, Paloma – YOU GO GIRL!

The Joy Of Massage

Anika Raffle2 Comments

Cappadocian animals are magical. There are sweet, cute, and loving. They live long and happy lives, always with their head held high and their tummies full. But as all Muslims believe, it is not the first life that counts, it’s the afterlife. For humans, the afterlife brings them all of their desires. Animals get to have massages all day, live in beautiful scenery, and have some of the most stunning views in Turkey. They become something much bigger than before. A rock. A hill. A mountain. Whatever you want to call it, it is still the same: an animal, their soul, and volcanic ashes. There are camels, dogs, sphinxes, eagles, seals, a monkey hand, and so many other animals, which mother nature created in rock. One of the Cappadocian animals’ name is Bob Ross.

Bob is a majestic camel, who has been put to rest. To rest in a rock. When Bob died, he was given a choice of position. Bob chose to sit, for then his legs would never get tired. Now, Bob has reached his 1023rd rockday and is celebrating with his closest rock-mate Erny the Eagle. Erny is only 26 feet away, so they can converse without being spotted by the many tourists passing by. For Bob’s rockday gift, Erny flew over in the dead of night and took away the poles and rope keeping Bob from being stepped on. When Bob woke up the next morning, he was getting the best back massage of his second life. Bob Ross can now say that his best rockday ever was his 1023rd.

The Joy Of Massage – Tips
With Bob (THE CAMEL) Ross

  1. One of the best times to have a massage is on your rockday! You can also have them at other various points in the year but! Be warned… Massages will not feel so nice anymore if you have them too often. You want to keep them as a special treat.
  2. You know that you need a Back Massage when your back has cramped up. You could also use one to help with slouching humps. It relaxes the muscles so they do not fall easily in the formation of what I like to call “Flop.”
  3. If your feet are worn out, try a Hot Stone Hoof Massage.
    1. This massage only is available in the summertime, or when it is blazing hot.
    2. The best way to do it is by exposing the bottom of your hooves. Once it is hot, it will slowly spread to the rest of the foot. In order to spread, it needs to stay in the sun.
  4. If you have a sunburnt head or just an itchy one, you should try being a Twighead.
    1. All you need to be a Twighead is three twigs, and one piece of bendy grass. Hold together the three twigs from their tops, and tie them together with the bendy grass. After you are done, get a friendly little bird to grab it with their talons, and put the splayed bits over your head and fly half a foot up, half a foot down. Have them repeat multiple times and you will have the best head massage of your afterlife.
  5. Remember, we do not make mistakes, just happy little accidents.

Now that you have the information to have three great massages, sit with your fellow rock (or human) friends, and look up at the happy little clouds and be happy too.

The Animals Of Zimbabwe

Anika RaffleLeave a comment

I look almost like a human, but a little bit smaller.
But I have four feet on the ground, as I wander.
I have fur on my back and a baby on my tummy.
And if I can get you to your food, note that bananas would be yummy.
I sleep in trees and would love to grab your phone.
So watch out or the baboon family will bring it back home!

I have four hooves, which I guide low on the ground.
And a fat belly, where mud can be found.
Don’t get too close to my babies, because if you do.
I will charge full speed at you!
I don’t mind people at all.
But if you trip on me, I guarantee that you’ll be the one to fall.
Overall I’m pretty friendly to animals around.
And by the way, I’m a warthog, not a hound!

The baboon is my cousin.
And don’t stop your buzzin’.
I’m much cooler than it.
Because I’m not always throwing a fit.
I am a little bit smaller as well.
But at least I don’t always smell.
And I am a lot cuter.
And I am a hooter!
I’ll wake you up in the night.
And you’ll get quite the fright!
Afterward, I will just laugh.
So hard that my monkey head will split in half!

I know, I am quite tiny.
But I also am very mighty!
Don’t you dare call me cute?
Or my family of fifty will steal all your fruit.
I am a stealthy ninja.
With a built-in mask – don’t cringe(a).
My twenty babies the size of a baby’s fist.
But they are quite competent, don’t doubt this!
Or you will hear something from a sis’.
The cape banded mongoose is really awesome.
More awesome than our cousin the possum!

I stand on two feet.
I am wearing Deet.
I don’t want to get malaria.
For it is in this area.
That’s why I’m taking pills.
They give me the chills.
Because they instantly taste bad.
Oh, I wish I was in Chad.
But no matter that, I’ve got my sunglasses and hat.
I can eat with a knife and fork.
My favorite meal is pork.
My favorite spice is Cumin.
For I am a human.

The animals of Zimbabwe are really very neat.
The way they defend the things they want to eat!
The sounds they make, the way they walk.
You want to cuddle them close as you talk.
The baboons that climb up into trees.
And the cute little monkeys.
The warthogs are very cool.
But they don’t come in a big pack, like the mongooses which love to fool.
This part of Africa is full of wildlife.
So do not destroy them with a gun or a knife.
Save the endangered species which disappear so fast.
For your chance to see them will quickly pass.
Save the animals that want to live like us.
Long lives that don’t pass by in a rush.
There is not a lot of places that you can find them.
So don’t be stupid, don’t be dumb.
Save their lives and be a friendly chum.

Children of the British empire

Hayes Raffle3 Comments

I had been mulling it over for a while, and in the grocery store yesterday I made my mind up: I’m not an American. I’m a child of the British empire. We are the same everywhere, we children. New Zealand. Australia. The more “civilized” corners of India. Seattle, Portland and Palo Alto. 

We speak English. We eat boiled vegetables and meat. We honor capital and capitalism, and while we may eat turkey at different times of year, we all decorate for Christmas. 

The grocery stores are more decorated by American brands than British ones these days, but the Broccoli and Cauliflowers harken back to their British roots. The language, religion, food, and education holds us together. 

It’s familiar here in Melbourne, with urban sprawl and suburban habits. Trampoline gyms charge by the hour and children’s musical performances feature Moana, Michael Jackson, The Rocky Horror and Mathilda. 

God save the suburbs, and God save the Queen!